Blessings and Celebrations

How did it get to be the end of May already...our spring has been so cool that this holiday weekend kind of snuck up on me. No big plans just hanging out with family and friends and finishing the outside spring cleaning...still plants to pot and furniture to get out.

But on to the purpose of the post... that is to stop a moment and take time to list some of the things I have to be thankful for.

• For little helpers always willing to lend a hand (I know you have seen this little one with a swifer before...I really don't make them clean when they come...they want to help) (and I don't usually wear socks with sandals...really, I don't)

• For the roses blooming in the yard and at the Gardens

•  For the mild spring,we have been having, I have not had to run the air conditioner...we have been able to open the windows which has brought in lots of fresh air...love it

• For the opportunity to go strawberry picking with the two youngest grandchildren...we later made strawberry freezer jam and froze some for smoothies later

• For the opportunity to attend a free concert in Washington DC last weekend...especially thankful that I was physically able to make the trip...there was a moment when I wondered how I was going to do it

• The trip to DC wasn't just to attend a free concert, that was just an unexpected blessing. The purpose of the trip was to attend the graduation of our youngest son. Excited to see what the Lord has for him in this next chapter of his life

"How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light."  Psalm 36:7-9

Psalm 46

I came across some notes in my journal this morning, it was from an entry of over a year ago...it was important enough for me to write down then and it's is something that helps me today.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in time of trouble" Psalm 46:1

• Refuge- a place to run to, provides protection and security, a place to rest
• Strength- a source of power or force, the power to resist attack, strain, stress
• Ever present- always available, always in control, always knowing

"Therefore we will not fear though the earth give away and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging"  Psalm 46:2-3

"When the stable becomes unstable there should be no fear because of the transcendent stability of God"               John MacArthur

If I look too closely at the world and all that is going on I can get so discouraged, it seems like everything is out of control, but this little page out of my journal pulled me back into truth. HE is my refuge...my place to run to, my place of rest.  HE is my strength...my source of power to resist attack
(in the form of lies from the enemy) HE is ever present...always available, always in control, always knowing.

Praying for those in Oklahoma

Ordinary Blessings

Opportunities to play with grandchildren

Letting The Dust Settle

I think my body is still trying to figure out where it wants to settle, still adjusting from the many med changes in recent weeks. No new changes today, I think my physician wants the dust to settle a bit, it can take weeks for your body to adjust to being off a Beta Blocker. My blood pressure is holding its own...not stellar,  but not bad. I have instructions on what to do if if gets high, so I am not left to my own devices. I think it is a good plan...and my physician is just a phone call away if needed

All this has disrupted any household routine, and I am trying to be okay with this, but the truth is I am not. I want my body to hurry up and figure out what it wants to do....settle already....I have things to do. Truly my times are in his hands...and I know he has a purpose and a plan...it's a truth I hold tight to

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.  Psalm 118:5

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me  Psalm 18:19

When I think of a spacious place I think hillside, meadow, pasture, rest, freedom. Perhaps for me this time of "settling" is a time of freedom from routine, a time to lie down in that spacious place and rest in him. Perhaps he will let me do both....have the ability to do the things I need to do and to let go of the things I don't and using that opportunity instead to rest in him. Praying for wisdom that I would know the difference between the need to be done...and can wait.

The Train Is Back At The Station

Concentration and the ability to put thoughts together on the computer has been a challenge for me the last week, in fact there have been days when I have felt like I was on a runaway train AND to make matters worse anyone who had the pleasure of interacting with me during this time probably felt like they were on that train with me....all because of an unexpected response to a new medication which necessitated changes in ones I had been on previously.

There had been a plan.... which had to be changed, then revised, then revised again, all within a week's time. My body did not respond well to all those changes, as I said before, I felt like I was on a runaway train...think major anxiety attack....and everything that goes along with that

The good news is that the train is back at the station, I am beginning to feel somewhat "normal" again, there has been valuable information obtained because of how I  responded to that new med and it looks like I will be able to stop one of the medications I have been taking for years that has so many bad side effects associated with it. We are not there yet but I am encouraged,  I have another appointment next week.

Not one of my best weeks but there is something that I realized. When I was in the midst of all the physical stuff that was going on I had a terrible time trying to read scripture...I couldn't concentrate... even listening to scripture or teachings overloaded my senses...I couldn't do it. Scripture is where I get my comfort, it helps remind me of truth....thankfully the Lord was faithful in bringing to mind scripture I had memorized in the past, not much mind you but a couple of key verses...it was what got me through a difficult night.

I have never been good at committing scripture to memory, I know where to find verses in the bible but honestly when I was feeling my worst that wasn't real helpful...NOTE TO SELF....there is value in memorizing scripture....in times of crisis it's what you've stored away that you will have access to


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The Quest For Peace

This is a scripture that  spoke to my heart today as I struggle to gain peace concerning an issue I am dealing with

"Cursed is the one the who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the dessert, in a salt land where no one lives"

                                             BUT WAIT THERE IS GOOD NEWS

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it's roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit " Jeremiah 17:6-7

The issue I am dealing with... getting control of my blood pressure...hate it don't like it when it needs to be reregulated. This is week three with four changes in medications thus far (I am on three different meds for my B/P, who would have guessed...right?) Changes have resulted because of side effects, harshness of drug or ineffectiveness of drug....MD still trying to find that perfect combination. I AM blessed with a  physician who has been patient and is available, but when I start feeling bad, and these drugs can make you feel bad, I start to lose peace, and fear starts knocking at my door begging to come in. I have to make a decision, sometimes several times a day, whether I am going to open the door and entertain that fear, that so wants to come in, or am going to ignore that constant knocking. Unfortunately fear has been a frequent "guest"....I'd say I need to get a dead bolt for the door but I'm the one who keeps opening it

So how did this scripture speak to me today...... it helped remind me that my ULTIMATE confidence is in the Lord, my ULTIMATE trust needs to be in him. It's fantastic that I have a good doctor but it is the  Lord who is ultimately in control..it is Him who I need to trust...it should be easy....right? (it's not)

Surely God  who "determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name" Psalm 147:4 has a handle on my situation....I know this...I do.  I should probably follow the advice I often give to a sweet friend of mine...."you need to just trust him...he's got this." Lord help me remember "you've got this"