Going Turtle

I have neglected my blog in recent weeks, something my husband calls "going turtle" It's not that I don't have much to say, it's that I'm having a hard time articulating all the emotions I have been experiencing in recent weeks. It seems like every time we seem to catch our  breath another wave sweeps over us.

A well intentioned friend commented to me on the phone the other day "well, we know he Lord never gives us more than we can handle" This was the last thing I wanted to hear, and honestly it made me a little angry. I definitely wasn't "handling" things, so what was up.

Later that day as I was talking to my husband about the conversation he pointed out that the comment wasn't biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say the Lord won't give us more than we can handle...I looked, it's not there.

What I found is quite the opposite is true, he wants us dependent on Him, desperate for His guidance and care, desperate for Him to carry these burdens that are weighing me down.

Truth is where I find hope and comfort

Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you   Hebrews 13:5b

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken 

 Psalm 55:22

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior who DAILY bears our burdens  Psalm 68:19

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.  Psalm 92:19

And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for  the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose  Romans 8:28

I do best when I focus on God's promises then when my gaze falls on what is going on around me. Today has been a better day, we have moved all of Sweet Lady's belongings, with the help of several friends, into her new place. Tomorrow I will take her over and she will be officially moved. Getting this task completed has been a great relief.

The next couple of weeks will be all about spending time with the grands. We found out last week that they will be moving about 23 hours away from us. This is going to be a huge change for us (and them)

but we are trusting that God is in control and that he has a plan and a purpose in all of this change.

I can't ever remember a time when we have had this much going on in our lives...... God is surely at work.

Things To Look Forward To

"How different the state of believers in heaven will be from what is here. Ah! Christian, the hot day of weariness doesn't last forever. The sun is nearing the horizon; it shall rise again with a brighter day than you have ever seen upon a land where they serve God day and night, and yet rest from their labors. Here, rest is only partial. There, it is perfect. Here, Christians are always unsettled; they feel that they have not attained. There, all are at rest. Happy day! When mortality shall be swallowed up by life and the eternal Sabbath shall begin" C H Spurgeon

Things That Make You Smile

We were at my son's house the other day, so my son and husband could work on a dry wall repair. I was there for moral support and, we had plans to head out for the evening after the guys had finished the repair.

After the job was done my husband went to get cleaned up and changed. Once he got all spruced up, he went looking for me so we could go, and called out "Where's my Sweetie" (his term of endearment for me) After hearing my husband calling for his "Sweetie" our youngest granddaughter jumped off the couch, ran up to him and said "Here I am Pop Pop"

His heart melted, I love that she thinks she is his "Sweetie" too....she is... they all are!

A Different Kind Of Summer

The last several weeks have been a blur for us, the days all seeming to run in together.  The dust is finally beginning to settle a bit and a new "normal" is beginning to shape up.

It's been a different kind of summer, with events coming at us so quickly, I have felt as if I was in a raging sea being overwhelmed by wave after wave of problems that I had no control over. We didn't know what the next day was going to look like and to say we had to hold any plans loosely was an understatement.

Let me give you a glimpse of what has been happening

It started with news that my sister was seriously ill and in the hospital, then before she was even discharged we received another call from my MIL that FIL was very ill, and we needed to come right away. We ended up making three road trips thru the mountains over a period of three weeks, driving a total of 2500 miles. Two different states, two separate crisis. We also learned during that time period that our son and DIL were hoping to make a move across country, if they could both secure jobs. Finally, there was the news that facility that Sweet Lady resides in will be closing and we will need to find her a new place to live.

Anyone of these issues alone would be difficult to handle, but all together has been more than I can manage. It's a hard place to be in, but a good place to be at the same time. We have had to trust the Lord in so many different things, not really understanding the why's of everything that is going on but knowing that He is in control and has a purpose and a plan. His strength made perfect in our weakness.

I was reminded by a dear friend, of mine of a comment I made at a ladies group several weeks ago. (prior to all of this happening) We were talking about faith. I had said that as I have gotten older my faith has grown stronger because I have seen God's faithfulness in past trials. It has built my faith for future difficulties.... I really didn't think I was going to have to put my words into action, so quickly and in such a dramatic way.

I wish I could say I have walked full of faith during this time, I have not. Anxiety, fear, doubt, grief, anger and selfishness are just some of the emotions that have plagued me these last few weeks. The Lord has been faithful though, he always brings me back to the truth of His word.

Things have settled "a little". After three weeks our suitcases are now unpacked, and we have been able to do a few normal household things besides laundry and dishes. Sister is better, but there is still a multitude of problems that in some way continues to effect all the family members. FIL has passed but leaves a 92 year old widow with little to no local support, at a days drive away we are the closet family. Son and DIL are still trying to move across country and Sweet Lady still needs to be moved but it looks like we have a place for her to go, at least for the time being.

I feel like it's been an "even if "month. I feel like the spirit has been asking me the "even if" question with so much of what is going on. Will you still praise me even if.......schedules get interrupted, kids move away, family dynamics never change etc.  Am I all that you need, am I enough?

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior  Habbakkuk 3:17-18