Thursday, June 28, 2012

Holding Things Loosely

I have been bringing things home bit by bit, piece by piece, who knew you could squirrel away so much stuff in an eight by eight foot cubicle. So far I have brought home several pictures, a lamp, some miscellaneous junk and three count them three umbrellas. I have decided to take the offer to change my status to PRN instead of completely resigning, the only requirement they have stipulated is that I take a certification test in my speciality by the end of the year. My status officially changes on Sunday, I already know I will be working some in July...but much less. My working will depend

on their need and my ability/willingness to work, it may be a little, it may be none at all

I started taking things home because I didn't want things to feel permanent and it was a way for me to continue to let go. A couple of my coworkers started sizing up my cubicle when they heard they news, I have to tell you my thought was... Really, could you wait until I'm gone! This is still my cubicle....mine! Doesn't matter that I didn't say it...it is after all an issue of the heart. The more they "surveyed" the more annoyed I got

 I stewed about this for a couple of days until the Lord got a hold of my heart. I was reminded that we are borrowers, renters, caretakers.... He owns it all. Part of the process of letting this job go was letting it all go, even my little "space" (which wasn't really mine) This applies to so many other areas of my life, things I cling onto but the Lord is kind enough to show me just one thing at a time. Right now it's all about this job. I know I am to hold it loosely, and to be willingly to walk away as the Lord directs.

After a little heart work with the Lord, I did go to my boss and offer up my cubicle late last week, I said I would work in whatever empty desk was avaliable when I came in, I then made arrangements with two of my friends that were part timers to share their space whenever they were off...after that I started taking things home....it has been absolutely freeing! You may be thinking...all this because of a cubicle.... God can use just about anything to do the refining that needs ot be done in our lives...the last two weeks he used a cubicle in mine

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My Friend

Oh the stories I could tell you about this friend of mine, we have had many "adventures" together

We became friends because of a camping trip...my husband was the volunteer "geek on call" for the school our children attended, my friend worked in the school office...my husband would tell tales of our family camping trips...my friend thought it sounded like a lot of fun, she would ask her husband...maybe they would join us the next time we went camping

Our first camping trip together was to the Outer Banks. We set up camp on two different sites that were a short distance apart. The first night we had a impressive thunderstorm...the storm was so bad that we were getting wet around the air mattress...our thoughts went to our new friends....they had never camped before...we wondered how they were managing...we were sure they would be gone by morning

We peaked out of the tent at daybreak and surveyed the campsite, things didn't look too bad, our sons had made out okay, tents were intact. We then walked over to our friends site, would they be packing up to go home? no, but they were hanging up wet bedding trying to dry it out. I can't remember if their tent didn't have a fly or they didn't put it on, but the result was they got soaked and had slept very little that night....welcome to camping!

That was back in 1997 and the "adventures" have only continued. I am thankful for this friend of mine, she really is family in the truest sense of the word.

                                               Happy belated birthday wishes to you friend

Sunday, June 17, 2012

It All Points To Him

"All creation is a finger pointing to the Lord of creation, in whom life can be found. Creation was made to introduce us to him over and over again.
The temporary pleasures of this present world are meant to point you to the lasting pleasure of knowing God. The rising of the sun each morning is meant to remind you of his faithfulness. The crushing power of a devastating storm is designed to make you reflect on his power. The sweetness of a human kiss is meant to remind you of his tender care. The dependency of the baby is there to remind you of your constant need for God. The fading beauty of the daffodil is meant to help you see his eternal beauty. The imperfect justice of the human community is there to remind you that God is perfectly just. The tender moment of human mercy is there to cause you to rest in his mercy. That five-course meal is an opportunity to reflect on and be thankful for the spiritual food you need and the God that graciously gives. The shifting stars in the night are created to remind you that Jesus is the light that never shifts or fades. Every experience of love is meant to point you to his love. Every moment of grace is there to cause you to run to his grace. All of creation is a finger pointing to God. It was not meant to replace him"

Excerpt from "Forever" pages 50-51 by Paul David Trip

Friday, June 15, 2012

A New Chapter

I had been thinking about making changes with my job for quite some time.  I had considered quitting altogether after my initial surgery, but I wasn't ready, going back to work represented getting back to "normal"... I enjoyed what I did, and I only worked part time

When I came back from FMLA I did decide to work less. I went from four days a week to three and twenty five hours a week to twenty. Things worked for awhile, then it started getting hard. Family responsibilites changed, I continued to have medical issues, demands at work were increasing and the flexibilty they had previously given me was decreasing...it was obvious I was going to have to do something different

My first attempt at making a change was to see if I could get my hours reduced even further, maybe instead of three days a week I could work only two. The answer that request was no, I would have to continue with my current schedule....I left that meeting discouraged, I thought they would be willing to assist, but they had needs as well.

I didn't think continuing the status quo was going to work....but what was I going to do, I have been at this job a long time. I prayed for wisdom, direction and an attitude change. The more I prayed the more I realized there were some bigger issues going on with me than the just the job, issues that included, where I was finding my idenity and where was I putting my trust. I knew I needed to be willing to let the job go...and I did.

But this is not the end of the story, shortly after I submitted my resignation I was asked if I would consider changing my status from part time to PRN (as needed) instead of resigning. I would be able to decide when and if I would work, when they had the need for additional help. This was quite an unexpected twist and one I wasn't prepared for....I haven't given a answer yet...still praying/thinking about it, I need more details.

Whatever I decide, life is going to look different....I will have more time to do the things I know I need to do.  A friend of mine got very excited when I told her the news. Her comment was that I was starting a new chapter in my life...I never really thought of it like that but I guess I am

I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own, it is not for man to direct his steps  Jeremiah 10:23

Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me Psalm 119:133

Sunday, June 10, 2012

June Bride

We celebrated our wedding anniversary last week, it was our thirty seventh. I went digging through the closet to find an old wedding picture and found a box of old letters we had written each other while hubby was on sea duty, no email back then.  I decided to stop and read a couple of the letters I had written....my poor husband...not exactly an encouraging letter...I read another one... the next one wasn't any better. Needless to say I didn't read anymore...made me very aware of God's grace in our lives.

I was young, I didn't realize marriage was supposed to be hard. I was so clueless! I was unprepared to be a wife, let alone a military wife. Early days were difficult, we were far from family and any kind of familiar support and husband was gone quite a bit. I can tell you now that it was all part of God's plan,  he was taking us to the end of ourselves, and it was a journey that would take several years.  Our marriage changed when we were stationed in Scotland, it was there that we became believers. Our marriage began to change. (it's a continuing process) We began living for something bigger than ourselves.

That was over thirty years ago...hard to believe.
We spent our anniversary doing the things we enjoy, husband took the day off and puttered around the house, we went to the oceanfront for dinner...tourist season hasn't started yet... and even got to hear the symphony...they were playing in a outside venue next to the restaurant. Thankful to be able to celebrate another anniversary with my guy