Monday, September 22, 2014

Still Adjusting

It's been almost three weeks since my son and his little family left for what my DIL calls "Frontier Land" There is no home delivery of mail yet, (they have to go to the post office to pick up their mail) no Internet and a much slower pace of life,  but they are adjusting. I am trying to adjust as well. The first couple of weeks after they left were pretty busy, because we had agreed to "tidy up" their house so it could be rental ready by the first of the month. Our aching and not so young backs and joints are very thankful for the young, efficient, talented help we received in getting that task accomplished

Now that we are done with that house,  I'm trying to figure out what normal looks like,again and I have to admit, it's been hard trying to find my bearings. We have been Empty Nester's for almost a decade now, I'm not sure why I'm having such trouble sorting this all out,  but I am.

We only saw the grandchildren a couple of times a week but our house and our schedules, to some extent, were geared towards them. Our room over the garage was their playroom, with playhouse, kitchen, vanity, grocery cart, stroller and toys filling the room. Another closet was dedicated to kids toys and part of our garage had bikes and outdoor toys for them to play with when they came to visit.
Since they frequently spent the night,  it seemed every room in the house had something of theirs in it.

Since we decided we would host our small group in our home, our first order of business needed  to be clearing out the playroom and closet. Thank goodness my DIL sister came over to help, she had less emotional attachment to the stuff than I did and helped make quick work, of what, if done alone, would have been a long process. We end up donating some, piled some up for a future yard sale and shipped some forgotten items to my son's family. We probably reduced everything by 50%...I know I could have done better but it was a decent start. There is still a giant playhouse filled with stuff covered with a very large sheet in the room but the closet is clean.  I hated to get rid of all my toys because I have young friends with small children that come over to visit....I know excuses, right?

This has been hard, but I am trusting God

Read this today from "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges

"God has an over arching purpose for all believers to conform us to the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ (see Romans 8:29) He also has a specific purpose for each of us that is His unique tailor made plan for our individual life (see Ephesians 2:10) And God will fulfill that purpose. As Psalm 138:8 says "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me" because we know God is directing our lives to an ultimate end and because we know He is  sovereignly able to orchestrate the events of our lives toward that end, we can trust him. We can commit to Him not only the ultimate outcome of our lives, but also all the intermediate events and circumstance that will bring us to that outcome"  page46


Debbie said...

I think I know a little of what your heart is going through. Before we moved here we had a BIG BIG house and lived 5 minutes from my oldest sons kids. (he has 5) Not only did I see them frequently, I actually took care of 3 of them while their parents worked for over a year as well. To say I was attached put it mildly. I too had a whole room that was exclusively theirs complete with TV,video games, toy shelves and a big futon that made into a bed for when they spent the night which was frequently. I had a high chair and a shelf in my pantry that was also dedicated solely to them. Their bikes were in the garage, and the swimming pool in the back yard was full of their toys. My youngest sons 3 were over frequently as well. I LOVED it! But we moved 35 minutes away and it changed everything. I see them now maybe every couple of weeks, and my youngest sons kids once a week or so since we go down there for church. No one is hardly ever at our house. I got rid of SOOOO much! I still have shelves in our utility room for when they do come, but most of the time they sit unused. My daughter of course lives 1000 miles away and is here a couple of times a year which will probably dwindle down even more as her kids become school age. Life has a way of ALWAYS changing huh? The grandkids that moved away...are they your only ones? That would be hard, and adjusting might take a while. But God is good and He already has you busy with important things. I am looking forward to hearing what He does there. Meanwhile, know that this grandma gets it that's for sure...HUGS

Lea said...

Awe, bless your heart! I do sort of know what you are feeling as our daughter has lived 8 hrs, 14 hrs and now only 3 1/2 hrs. away.She just moved closer in May and we are so, so enjoying having her and her family that close. Our son and DIL and the Princess do live here but during the school year we generally only see them once or twice a week. As Debbie said, life is full of adjustments and some of them are tougher than others. Praying you will find peace in the midst of this tough situation. Hugs to you!

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

I am getting a small taste of what you're going through, spending 2+ weeks away ... I'm missing my daughter and my grands so much. And yet it's not even close to what you're having to adjust to ... We made the decision to get away, not the other way around and in 7 more days, we'll be back home, just 15 minutes away. I'm praying for you, dear one.

Cheryl said...

Maryann, it is so tough to be separated from your loved ones. My own son moved halfway across the country when his first child was only 3 weeks old. I thought my heart would break. They have lived "away" ever since (the "baby" is now 7 and they have two other children). Seven years later...most days I am fine. But then there are days when I see a photo or hear their sweet voices on the phone or see a card that one of them has made for a cousin, and I am not fine.

And yet, I am at peace. I am at peace because I know that they are where the Lord has guided them. I am at peace because they are His and they are teaching their children to love and obey Him.

I sense in your writings that you, too, are at peace. "At peace" does not mean "easy"...it just means trusting Him.

May you continue to walk in His peace.

Creations By Cindy said...

Praying for your sweet spirit today and lifting you up to the Father...He loves you so! Hugs and blessings, Cindy

Camille said...

Sweet friend...I am praying for you today as you continue to adjust. The Lord walks this path with you and will carry you through. Don't you just *love* Jerry Bridges' book?? SOOO rich and full of Truth. XOXO

Janette's Sage/Simply Your Decor said...

I am so sorry. My grandsons are very close, just a few miles away and yet there never seems to be time for them to come over, everyone is so busy. I can imagine how hard it would be if I was use to them being here more, but I am still raising a child myself. All these different adjustments in life and is there really a normal?
Blessings and prayers for you during this transition.

GratefulPrayerThankfulHeart said...

I feel like I struggle trying to find normal more now than ever :) I can so relate to many of your thoughts here in this post. I like the Jerry Bridges passage.