Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Finding My Way

It was one month ago that we got the news that my job was going to be eliminated. We were given five weeks notice but I decided to pack up my things the next day and call it done. I had a flex position, so I was not obligated to work till the job ended.

It has been an adjustment but I 'm not sure I would call it difficult. The angst I used to feel Sunday nights is gone....that's a good thing.  I have had time to take care of tasks that I used to try to fit into my schedule and we are going to start "Grandma Days" with my Little Miss this week.

I still am a little lost though, still trying to figure out what normal looks like. How does someone who has worked in some capacity outside the home for the last thirty one years change gears? The temptation is to fill up my "white space" with outside activities, there are things I would like to do but I also feel like I need to go slowly, that I need to learn that it is okay to be quiet...of course that's not how our world operates....the pull is there to be busy...all the time

So far my days have been spent taking care of some much needed projects at home. Closets, and drawers, and cupboards...oh my! Amazing the stuff we have pigeonholed over the years. There are enough of those to go through that I could be kept busy for years...no kidding. But then I have also enjoyed the quiet times... more time to work on a bible study that I am attending at church and I have actually been able to finish a book I started reading the beginning of summer...yikes!

On other news, most of my coworkers found other employment, we are all nurses, so there are jobs, some ended back in the field as visiting nurses, some physicians offices, others in compliance positions elsewhere. We had a farewell luncheon last week...said our last goodbyes.

 I believe the Lord orchestrated this entire event, prepared me along the way. I have peace about being home but to be honest I am still trying to find my rhythm

Lord you have assigned my portion and my cup, you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance  Psalm 16:5-6


Janette's Sage/Simply Your Decor said...

I can so relate to this in the opposite way, how do I fit outside work into my schedule. I feel lost and my heart feels pulled. I feel responsible to bring in income and yet I can't find a niche.

Change...we all need it, it keeps us growing...and yet it feels like a new pair of shoes that aren't worn in yet and don't feel comfortable until we have walked in them for awhile.

Blessings as you find your pace in this new season of life

Creations By Cindy said...

I know that God will help you with this new season in your life! Maybe all has happened "For such a time as this". Hugs and blessings, Cindy

Vee said...

Oh changes are always a challenge. I'm glad that you are taking your time to hear from the Lord. As a nurse, you do have many options and He will lead you. Perhaps this is a season of rest and reflection and of doing what you wish to do for a change. When my sister-in-law retired she took three years to set her house in order, painting, clearing, cleaning, organizing. She always tells the story just that way...three years! I find it scary. ☺

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

Praying that God will guide you through this new season of life.

I have to say that I had no trouble adjusting to retirement ... maybe because it was my choice and maybe because it was that I had worked full time for all the 30+ years I worked, so that I never had enough time to do all that I wanted/needed to. My hubby says that I'm quilting so much now ... trying to make up for all the quilting that I never had time to do while working. ;-)

Camille said...

These are precious days Maryann. You are right to take it slow and add things in one by one. It's easy to add to the schedule, but difficult to remove things...take your time and seek the LORD on it. HE is Faithful. He will guide you. Your Grandma Days sound wonderful!! ENJOY!!!

With Love,

mare ball said...

It is true that there are seasons in life...you are in a new season. I know you find the the next thing God has for you. In the meantime, cleaning out the house is always therapeutic!

Petra said...

I can relate from the opposite end of the spectrum. At my age it seemed a big surprise to be back where I had started, right out of college. But God always knows what He's doing, even if we don't. I lean on Him daily now, for everything, and He has not allowed my nervous flicker to be snuffed out but continues to bless me by allowing me to guide others with His wisdom and love! My husband just had neck surgery and is out of work for a good while. We didn't know this when I re-entered the workforce, but God did! How great is our God??