This was the view from our table, still stormy out there but we were under cover
After our anniversary we celebrated Sweet Lady's birthday. We took her out for lunch then we had cookout and a birthday celebration at our house with my son and his family for dinner. She has done so well since she has been down here...has become more like the person I remember from years ago. We decided to have her eyes checked out and found she had needed glasses and not just for close up but for distance as well. I wish I had my camera with me when they put the glasses on for the first time. She had a such a startled expression on her face, like she was seeing things she hadn't seen before....I asked her if she could see any better and in classic Sweet Lady style she replied "yes, you look a whole lot better Maryann" All the way home she was reading signs along the road...what a shame it took us this long to figure out her vision was a problem. She has settled into her home quite well and has made friends with many of the residents, a concern we had. The other day after we had come home from the dentist she made a point of having me stop and wait while she went to tell the ladies she dines with that she wouldn't be at dinner because her mouth was numb...that may seem like a minor thing but, to me it meant that she had connected with others...it was huge.
We have another birthday coming up of a certain little redhead...remember this photo...well she is going to be two
June was also the month for my routine followup with my oncologist, all is well but, he wants me to begin taking Tamoxifen...drug holiday of a year is over. Going back on one of these "anti-estrogen"drugs has been a topic of discussion for several months now with my PCP and husband...benefits versus side effects. Benefits...they are supposed to decrease the risk of recurrence, but there are side effects too.(and I had bad effects from the last one he put me on hence the drug holiday) I had decided that I was not going back on anything...I was just going to be more mindful of diet and exercise and trust the Lord with the rest....husband was fine with that. Unfortunately that was not how the story ended...oncologist did not want me refusing the drug without at least trying it. We had a discussion, compared statistics, then came to a compromise, I would try it but if I had side effects that I was not able to tolerate I would not have to continue with it...I felt it was a fair compromise so I agreed. That was two weeks ago, the Tamoxifen is still sitting on a shelf in the kitchen unopened...praying for peace.
My actions are being directed by my fear...fear of side effects...how crazy is that? If ever there was a day for Proverbs 3: 5-6 today would be that day
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight"