Today I had an appointment with my oncologist. This is my second trip there since starting on Arimidex, a little more familiar with the procedures. Figured out your appointment time isn't really your doctors appointment time, it's your check in time. This time when they gave me my pager, I knew what to do, (sit down in the waiting room and wait to be paged to go to lab) Everything went along pretty routinely, had my blood drawn, proceeded to my doctors waiting area, checked in there, then waited to be called into the room. The wait wasn't too long, the nurse soon called my name, did the vitals, updated meds, made a list of the various "problems" I was having, then left me to wait for the nurse practitioner to come in. Walls are pretty thin, you can hear muffled voices. Sitting there waiting I heard people in the next room, then a women sobbing, it was heartbreaking, hard to hear, I could feel the grief. Did not know if she was alone, if she was the patient or the spouse, daughter, sister...reminded of what this place is all about, everyone here has or has had cancer or is/was effected by someone who does, it was pretty sobering. I felt so bad for the women, what was she being told, who in her life was going to be effected by this news. I wish I could say my first response was to pray for that person, it wasn't, I just sat there feeling kind of ill, sad. I thought about the women a lot during the drive home , what were the circumstances, did they know the Lord? I did eventually pray for the woman that I only heard, prayed that the Lord would comfort her, draw her to him. Gave me a different perspective on my complaints of the day, pretty minor in comparison.
When I came home I opened up a card I had received from a dear friend the night before, I had put it in my bible and forgotten about it until I came home this afternoon. It had a little poem in it that was perfect for a day like today.
"The Lord is your faithful Shepherd; Your times are in His hands.
Take the path He's chosen as you walk upon this land.
Before you are His mercies, ahead are better things.....
Beside you are His Blessings, and the joy His presence brings"
---Roy Lessin---
Back from Williamsburg today, the weather was perfect and we came back rested and refreshed. Had a couple of emotional moments, wondering when, if ever that will end. I don't get emotional often, but it happens. We were walking down the street of the historic section of Williamsburg and I was remembering the last time we were there, just so happens it was right after my surgery last fall. Got kind of teary, hesitated to talk to my husband about it because, after all, enough is enough, right, but it was ok because he was right there with me.....(also remembering) I am sure this coming year, as certain dates pass, we will have many more moments like this and we have decided that it's ok, we can still talk about the cancer, we are changed because of it, in a good way. We were able to have a conversation about what emotions we were both experiencing and move on, it was a moment, we were able to use it to remind each other on how faithful God has been, how he has sustained us, so it wasn't wasted. The next couple of weeks are going to be harder because of the surgery coming up. More doctors appointments again (still have to see oncologist and general surgeon) so its harder to push it into the background. Husband has been encouraging me, reminding me that this surgery not like the other, should be a "piece of cake" compared to last time. Will be glad when I am on the other side of it.
