Thursday, November 18, 2010

Drowning in a Mountain of Paperwork

Days ticking down and I do have to start thinking about going back to work. Received an email yesterday from leave management, because I had not responded to request for short term disability they were closing the file. How did I miss that. Searched through my emails for the request and there it was dated 10/12. All of the emails looked the same, I had just disregarded, plus received right before my surgery and was not thinking clearly. I have been on the phone all morning and have thankfully resolved that issue. The amount of paperwork is daunting. I had to have physician submit paperwork to extend my FMLA, then I have to have ALL physicians and the hospital send all my progress notes to leave management to get the short term disability started and finally when I go back to see surgeon I have to have him fill out yet another form saying I am "fit for duty". I sit at a desk all day, seems ridiculous! I have started the process, done what I can do for now. How easily can the anxieties of the day just rob my peace. I pray that I can learn to give it all back to him (the problems, concerns etc) as I find myself getting anxious. Remembering his care for me, and that it has not ended.
Physically I am getting better. I had another fill on Tuesday, but told the plastic surgeon of the pain I was having and he only put 30cc in, I ended up being much more comfortable. Best news is I may not have to have anymore fills, I will not see him for another month! I still have pain, especially at night, but I have managed to stay in the bed  without having to go down and sleep in recliner. My left arm continues to be a problem, I have a tight cord that runs down from my axilla, and I have pain down to my wrist. I continue to do stretching for it and expect to need physical therapy. I think that is one of the sources of my anxiety and work, physically I do not feel ready. I need to remember I do have a couple of weeks left before I am due back, much can change during that time. I need to sit back and trust the Lord in the details of my life. He knows me, the bible says he is "familiar with all my ways".

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you"  Psalm 116:7

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul"  Psalm 94:19

That is my prayer today, that I would find rest and peace, free from anxiety, and that I would remember how he has faithfully met me during these last weeks. Remembering that he has not changed, his word remains the same, his promises remain the same.

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