Monday, November 1, 2010


Long awaited oncologist appointment today, oncotype results were supposed to be back by today but that did not happen. Apparently this test is only done in one lab in the country, all samples are sent there. The doctor called to see when the results would be ready and was not going to be before Wednesday at least, so we wait. The appointment was not a waste though. Oncologist very much into educating his patients and I felt like I learned a lot. We went over the pathology report, he explained that my tumor was just over a cm, estrogen/progesterone positive. I will be getting some type of anti-estrogen drugs to treat it. He explained a little about the oncotype test, what the scores meant. If below 10 he will not recommend chemotherapy, if above 30 I will have chemotherapy. His guess is my number will probably be between 16-20,

which would be considered a "gray area". When we asked him what treatment do you recommend when it's in the "gray area" he said that he helps educate us so we can make the best decision on what to do...hmm.  Also said there was a clinical trial available that we might be interested in,but this is to think about for later, don't even know where I stand yet. I thought I would be upset about not knowing the results but actually, I'm OK with it, gives me some time to do some research, there is no hurry, they are not going to do anything until I heal from surgery anyway. One thing he was able to do was to give me some information on the difficulty I am having with my left arm. He did not feel like it was lymphadema because it was so localized to the axilla and upper arm. He showed me where lymphadema would start, what the symptoms were that I should watch for and what they do when they have someone who develops it. He measured my arm, edema localized to upper arm, felt it was trauma from the surgery and that it would get better in time. Also told me some things I can do to help the pain. That he took my concern seriously and took time to check the arm out and explain everything to me, gave me great peace of mind. I still have two more doctors appointments this week. When I was a visiting nurse my patients would always complain about all the doctors appointments they had, I can now understand the inconvenience of it all. Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon, will probably put more saline in the expander's. This is a pain, literally, helps stretch out my chest muscles, so at some point I can have implants put in. The pain I have with the expander's is an everyday reminder of my weakness, my limitations. I need that reminder, because too often in the past I relied on my physical strength, my health, my abilities. I now realize how fragile that can be. I believe the Lord would have us do what we can to take care of ourselves but it is His strength we must rely on.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong"

So that would be my prayer, that I can find delight in my weakness, that I remember that this is for a season and for God's purposes

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory"

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