These Days Of Our Life

Do you ever feel like life is coming at you so fast and furious, that you hardly have time to sit and take it all in? That has been our year. Life lesson seems to be "you know that control you thought you had, it was all an illusion"

We had a pretty ordered life, our kids were grown and out of the house, youngest was almost independent. Life was pretty ordinary. We used our off time to spoil our grand kids, putter around the house, get together with friends, we pretty much did what we wanted. We were pretty boring.

Then came cancer, that one was a  reality check. When you get a diagnosis of cancer you are faced with your mortality. Our lives stopped for a couple of months, everything was focused on getting through that. Cancer helped us gain a new perspective on things, you look at the choices you are making, you don't take things for granted. Oh how faithful the Lord was during those days, I felt his presence like I never had before.

Shortly after my second surgery, my dad got sick. He went from independent to dependent with mom the main caregiver.Things are looking better but it has been a long three months for him and my mom. Both are in their eighties, so why were we so surprised when something happened? There has been a positive outcome from this event as well. Siblings who had let too much time pass between communicating with each other are now talking on a regular basis.

Then there is "sweet lady", another whirlwind  event. She is moved into her new place, but the move has seemed to make her memory worse. I expected that, it's pretty normal. When you have memory problems routine is key.The move disrupted the routine she had gotten into at our house,(it took her two weeks to get adjusted to our home and that was with me constantly cuing her) it will take awhile for her to get into a routine again in her new home.

I went to see her yesterday and she was so confused, it made me sad. We sat and visited for awhile, talked about her day, she knew she had gone out to eat for lunch, but couldn't remember much more. We are all still in the process of adjustment. Haven't got it all figured out yet, trying to find our groove. She loves Dairy Queen, so frequent ice cream runs will be on the schedule, and church and lunch on Sundays. Praying the Lord will inspire us, show us ways to help her adjust.

So back to this thing about control. We don't have it, never really did. The events of the past year have  made this quite apparent to us. We have had to put our trust in the Lord, nothing else we could do. This is not a bad thing, takes the pressure off me.(again like I really had any control) Have I totally got it? no, this is going to be a life long process, letting go and trusting the Lord. I know my tendency is to try to fix it first then give it to the Lord. I am learning though, so, crazy year, yes, but it is a year the Lord has used to help build our faith and grow us spiritually.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul"  Psalm 143:8