The move to the flat lands had been sudden, unplanned, and done in a matter of days. It would be a lot to ask of anyone to adjust to that kind of change, now add dementia. We give credit to God's grace alone that she has done as well as she has.
For the last several weekends we have been adding to the room, trying to make it feel more like home for her. Each weekend bringing in a little of this and a little of that. A fridge for snacks, pictures for the walls, photos of loved family members. Today we have finished, the last items to be brought in were her grandma's chest and a hanging shelf that belonged to her uncle. The room looks nice, she seems happy. She told me several times today, you did good.
This has been a learning process for us, and will continue to be.
First thing we had to learn, and have to continue to remind ourselves, it's not about us, it's not about what we like, it's about what works best for her.
We are still trying to figure out things she enjoys. She likes running errands with me, likes ice cream, visits from us and the little one's (her great nieces and nephew)
Her memory is bad but she remembers us. We try to keep a sense of humor about things. She reintroduces us to staff and friends each time we come by (and they are gracious enough to respond as if they were meeting us for the very first time) Finding things in her room can be challenging at times, you have to make things simple, avoid change.
Challenges or opportunities, guess it's the viewpoint you want to take. I pray the Lord will help me see this as an opportunity, not just to care for my sister in law but to touch other lives that may not have crossed my path had this not happened. Honestly, I do see this as a blessing with much potential.
"May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the works of our hands for us, yes, establish the work of our hands" Psalm 90:17
4 comments:
Amen...went through this with my father-in-law a few years back and now we are needing to make decisions for my MIL (age 96) and she really needs to stop living on her own. What a time to learn tenderness and compassion and let go of our own agenda.
Great post and blessings to you all.
Blessings to you Maryann.
This is a word I needed to hear.
We are making a MIL cottage right next door. And until it is done we are all together in a small home.
I am praying for a unselfish love that will not waver when sometimes loving gets tough.
You are being a fine example.
I look forward to following your post.
Maryann,
What a blessing you and your husband have been to Sweet Lady! I love reading about how you love her. It's so grace-filled and reflects the love you have for Jesus. What an encouragement you are to her and to me. Love and hugs!
First of all, I love your "flowered" cyber home!
As much as I miss my parents, I am so very grateful to have never been in the position of making the sort of decisions you've had to make. I know it's a blessing to you, but I also know it's a weighty responsibility.
Blessings & peace,
Kathleen
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