Taking a Moment to Reflect

I knew I could not let this day pass. Despite all preparations for the coming storm my thoughts also go back to the events of a year ago today, the day I was diagnosised with breast cancer

We went to the surgeon hopefully optimistic, I had no family history, no risk factors. The appointment started off well, they did another ultrasound, the tech talked about what I could expect next, I didn't pay much attention, this wasn't going to have anything to do with me.

The surgeon did a needle biopsy of the non calcified lesion that showed up on my mammogram, it immediately collapsed, a good sign, meant it was fluid filled, probably not cancer. They went out of the room to look at the films again. When he came back his demeanor had changed. There was another area that had not showed up on the mammogram that showed up on ultrasound the tech had just done. He did a second needle biopsy on that area, results would be in a couple of days. My husband said he knew when we left the office that day what the results were going to be

God was able to use the events of the last year to show me my heart. I saw that I was putting my trust in things other than God in many cases. Idols in my heart that I didn't even know were there. One of my continuing struggles, is to let go of those idols that I want to cling to. In my life I had put a high value on physical health, if honest, I cared more for my physical health than my spiritual health.

I still have to ask myself, is God enough even if my physical limitations remain, or if my cancer returns or..... you fill in your on blank. Will he be enough for you even if your circumstances never change. Can you still have that peace and joy only he can provide. We all have to get to that place and its a daily journey.

Our lives are full of storms, literally like the one that has us in it's bullseye and metaphoracally things  like illness, financial hardship, difficult relationships, wayward children. If you have ever stood on a beach you know as the waves come in they pull the sand from under your feet. Lifes a lot like that too if you are not standing on a firm foundation. Are you standing on that rock? Are you clinging to something besides Jesus? Is he all you need?