Battle Weary

Today started out like a normal day...well almost. I started having trouble with my eye Tuesday night, Was experiencing searing pain in my eye any time it was exposed to light. Saw the eye doctor the next day and he told me it was a "divot" in my cornea (don't think divot is a medical term..but I understood what he was talking about) Spent the day yesterday wearing sunglasses sitting in a darkened room. I felt better this morning and proceeded to attend to the various errands and stops that I had to make. I went to Occupational Health and was cleared to go back to work Monday, then I stopped by the office, said hello to everyone and sat down and talked to my new boss. Discussed how things were going what I would be doing, how I was concerned about the pressures associated with my job and how I wasn't  going to be able to work with the intensity I had prior to surgery, no extra hours, different priorities, just now starting to really process all that has happened in the last several months......as I am talking I start tearing up...again...not sure if hormones or lack of or just a response to everything that has happened. The effect on my boss was one of compassion, she asked me what I wanted to do... will start me out slow, will partner me with someone....I think everything will be ok.
Next stop was my eye doctor, he wanted to take a look how te eye was progressing, and things were looking worse instead of better, they wanted me to go right over to see a specialist...today. As I was driving over to see this doctor I was feeling so discouraged. Things were starting to settle down,  falling into a routine again...now this. The doctor took some cultures, did some more scrapings, gave me more antibiotic drops and have another followup appointment tomorrow. So in addition to a corneal ulcer, there is some type of infection. My sight in that eye is blurry, praying it does not get worse.
I really never asked God "why me" when I was diagnosised with breast cancer. I struggled with fear and anxiety but never asked why I got cancer. I am weary from that battle and I did find my self asking why tonight, not about the cancer, but why do I have to deal with this eye issue, I was looking forward to some calm waters for a little while. I am thankful the pain is not as bad as it was Tuesday but I am discouraged tonight, praying that this respond to the medications and this will just be a little bump in the road. I am just tired, but I need to remember that I am not in this battle alone.