Our Hope

The days have flown by, I cannot believe it has been almost a week since we are back from Florida. (although I started this post on Wednesday today is Friday)  Back to work this week, doctors appointments and responsibilities, I had felt rested so I was ready. Doctor appointments Monday went well. Started with my PCP, new changes, again, with blood pressure meds, blood pressure seems to be either too high or too low, having a hard time regulating. Plastic surgeon was next...everything ready to go for surgery, which I found out the next day would be March 7th....my stomach turned and palms got sweaty when I got that call. Eye doctor next, corneal ulcer is healed with only a small scar left, which felt would go away in time..so as far as he was concerned I had "graduated"..do not need to see them again.....also no contacts for a couple more months to give my eyes a rest. Last appointment this week was with oncologist. Some discussion about my blood pressure, my emergency room visit that I had on Christmas day, joint pain that I have that makes me feel like a 80 year old lady. Arimidex may be increasing blood pressure but he thinks it is the Advil. Multiple doctors, multiple opinions, no wonder people get confused over what to do, especially the elderly. Plan of action....no more Advil, he wants me to take Tylenol and gave me a script for Ultram....best news is I get to take a break from the Arimidex for 1-2 weeks (this drug known for causing joint pain)... he gave me a script for Aromasin ( drug similar to Arimidex) that I will fill after my trial off the Arimidex. Health was something I had prized, thought I could control by things I did, lifestyle I maintained....realizing I can make some difference but seeing God has ultimate control. (I say that I know God is in control, but living that out in your life...it's hard) Resting in him, trusting him....has been difficult at times. When I got that call for my next surgery, fear was my first response...where was my trust? I guess what I am learning is that this is a life long process....trusting Him in every situation (the flesh seems to want to respond first) I have to remember that my circumstances will shift and change....that's life in the world... but Jesus never does, he is my living hope that never disappoints. Thats where I need to put my hope.