Monday, March 14, 2011

All That I Need

" Our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We are half hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered us. We are like ignorant children who want to go on making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far to easily pleased"                C.S. Lewis 

Pondering this quote all day and how it applies in my own life. What is it that I desire more than anything right now, well that's pretty easy. I want to be healthy, I don't ever want to have to deal with cancer again, I want to feel like I did before I ever received a cancer diagnosis. That would satisfy me, that would make me happy. That is not a bad desire, don't get me wrong, but at best "good health" will be a temporary thing. We may stay healthy until the day we are called home, but more often than not health wanes as we age.

God convicting me a fresh all day, "what do you value most". Do I value a knowledge of the living God more than I value being healthy? Do I believe I need Christ more than anything else in this world. Not just say I believe it, but live my life as if I really believed it. Do I value a closer walk with Christ,  more than I desire to be healthy. As I was writing down my thoughts on this I felt the tears streaming down my face, I knew the answer was no. I am a work in progress, thankful that God continues to work in my heart, looking into every hidden crevice, pulling down strongholds, molding me, refining me. My husband has been out of town the last 24 hours, so there were no distractions today, God was able to get my undivided attention. His plans and purposes continue because of my cancer diagnosis

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