Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dirty Laundry

I have mentioned before that I have someone doing my laundry, temporarily...it has been a great help, but you have no idea how hard it was to let someone do that. Think about it, really think about someone doing your laundry..everything. It's all out there, the rips and tears, the stains, the items you would rather not be out in the open. Like I said it was real hard for me...how could I possibly give my friend ALL my laundry. Would you hold certain things back? I wanted to.

This is the second time I've had help with the laundry, the first time was after my first surgery. It was last fall that the the Lord showed me how letting someone do my laundry, was similar to letting others see the "dirty laundry" in my spiritual life, you know sharing the good, the bad and the ugly with those who would be close to you...like those in your small group. I was one who who did not want anyone seeing my "dirty laundry" Reluctant to share or be transparent, fueled by fear of man, pride and/or rejection I would keep much of my laundry out of the light of day.

Then came cancer...that changed everything. I had come across an article a few months before by John Piper "Don't Waste Your Cancer" it was time to reread it...it gave me a new perspective on things...a new prayer...Lord don't let me come out of this the same...if you want change it requires action. I started to let people in, became more authentic, was willing to air my "dirty laundry" so God could begin to change my heart. I started this blog shortly after that, something way, way, way out of my comfort zone but felt the Lord was telling me...time to get real...time to get all the laundry out in the open, the blog was also a place to record the whole breast cancer journey.

I wanted change, I did not want to come out of this the same. I would never chosen to have breast cancer...but God has been able to use it for his purposes. I am not the same, I look at life differently,relationships are much more important, I have new priorities...I try to see things with a more eternal perspective. You know we don't always understand why bad things happen, don't always get to see the good things that come from trials...I have been blessed in this respect because God has allowed me to see some good that has come from this.

Just in case you were wondering...yes I am going to continue to blog...but I hope it will be less about breast cancer and more about the simple day to day and how the Lord is working in my life and things he is showing me along the way.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"  2 Corinthians 4:17-18


Trisha said...

Yes, I would feel the same way about having someone do my laundry. It would be very humbling.....

I'm glad God has provided help for you, and I'm thankful to read of the work He's doing in you as you walk this road. God bless you, my friend!

Love and hugs!

cgg said...

thank you so much for this entry, Maryann, and for choosing to do this! this really spoke to me, as i can totally relate to not wanting to let others in. yet you did let others in, and what a rich blessing it has been! i admire your courage and your selflessness in doing so, and i am so very grateful to God for you, and for this opportunity to know you better. you are such a beautiful person, and have such wonderful thoughts and insights. what a privilege this is! thank you!
love, Cathie

Kim said...

When I returned home from one of my hospital stays and saw my poor hubby running around trying to clean up the house...it crushed me. I started to pray...my phone rang and it was a friend from church offering help. She blessed us with arranging house cleaning every other week while I was going through chemotherapy. It was very humbling...but so appreciated! ps. As soon as I found out that I was in for a long road...I went out and bought new underwear...I did't want anyone to see my ol' ratty ones. (smile)

Garden Lady said...

Your response made me laugh out loud. Thanks!