Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Gonna Need to Have a Redo

Monday was my first day back to work since being out for surgery. I really did not anticipate how difficult it would be. Mistakes made on many levels, first of all it was "month end." That's the time period, where all charts have to be completed/processed for billing. Pressure is on, it's crunch time, everyone scrambling, working at high intensity... and this is the day I decided to go back to work after after being off for a month...what was I thinking!

Second mistake... why did I decide to go back to work the Monday after we had been out of town for the weekend? We had gotten back early Sunday afternoon, but I was tired, I probably could have used an extra day to rest up. Had also been a very emotional weekend...we won't even go there right now.

The morning started off well, I work with a group of wonderful people, but after we said our hello's, I started getting ALL my work back...wait...I'm only here a couple hours...I can't pick up where I left off...not yet. When they saw the look in my eyes everyone was quick to back off...but it was too late I was overwhelmed and near tears.

My boss stopped by about an hour later to chat and see how I was doing...told her I was OK, but feeling a little overwhelmed...emotions betrayed me again...She then asked me if I thought about working from home the rest of the week. I told her I would think about it and let her know...why did I have to think about it? I knew this was too much for me right now...but we want approval from others, don't want to appear weak...(that would be me)

I didn't want to work from home before I was ready to come back, but it seems to be the perfect way to ease back into things. I have been able catch up on passed due web based training, look through my active charts and actually started getting work done again. Working at home has given me the opportunity to get my feet wet before I actually jump into the water.

So Monday was a dry run...tried to land...got "waved off" will circle back and make another attempt next week.


Trisha said...

So sorry your return was overwhelming! How wonderful that you can ease back into things by working from home. God bless you with renewed strength and focus and a quiet heart.

Kim said...

I can so relate...I remember the frustration. I still feel the fatigue. I can now work through a whole work week, but by Friday I am tired. Your body has been through a lot--please give yourself some grace.