Promise of a Better Spring

Today was errand day. Had a doctor's appointment first thing, then had to pick up some odds and ends that I would need after surgery. Found some warm up jackets at thrift store to wear post-op. Had looked on line for mastectomy shirts but they were pretty ugly, not to mention expensive. These jackets are perfect, I just bought them in a larger size. Picked up my prescriptions, anti-nausea stuff thats supposed to help in vomiting post-op, a problem I know I have and some numbing cream. I can thank the breast cancer navigator nurse for the numbing cream. When I found out I would be awake for the injecting of the dye my anxiety level went way up, she arranged for the surgeon to call in a prescription for this cream.... Thank you! Bedroom is done and it is beautiful, just have to move the furniture in, seems a shame to have to put anything else in there but I guess I can't keep our dressers in the hallway forever. Today was another beautiful day and I spent most of the afternoon outside gardening. I planted more pansies and tulip bulbs all the while thinking, why do we plant bulbs. I plant bulbs because it's something to look forward to in the spring, something beautiful after a cold dreary winter. I hate winter. I kept thinking these kind of represent our hope for a better spring, a healthy spring.  Then I started looking around and I had all this dead stuff hanging in pots and  in the garden beds. I had probably two dozen dead dried out sunflowers towering above my six foot fence. I just had to pull those things up, I couldn't look at these dead things all winter long. I began pulling them up and just kind of lost it, had a mini meltdown, I couldn't even finish the job. I asked my husband to please finish it, then went upstairs to shower still in tears. About five minutes later A friend was at our door. She had an obelisk (tower trellis kind of thing) some old windows for cold frame and seeds. Talk about God's timing, we talked about what was going on, we walked the garden, talked about how tears are ok, God keeps track of our tears. Her unexpected visit was again God's reminder to me of his loving care.

"You keep track of all my sorrows, you have collected my tears in your bottle, you have recorded each one in your book" Psalm56:8